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March Madness!

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No, this post won’t be about basketball, only about the crazy month I’ve been through. I thought it was important to mention why I haven’t updated my blog as often as I had intended.

Firstly, the 30-day hot yoga challenge was taking over my life. I had to make plans through work and hot yoga. It was manageable but complicated sometimes. Did hot yoga make me feel like a better person? For the first days, I felt happy and relaxed but then I started feeling annoyed and exhausted. I took a break on the 11th day because I wanted to get some free henna at the Museum of Fine Arts. I took another break on the 23rd day and then I stopped.

Secondly, I sprained my ankle last Monday after a beautiful evening of bliss and joy. I was invited to the cocktail launch of the 15/16 season of Les Grands Ballets Canadiens de Montréal. I was very honoured to be invited because I love the ballet! Sam accompanied me to this luxurious event with lots of wine and yummy cocktail bites. I was ecstatic when I found out that some of the ballets would Kaguyahime, Coppélia and Don Quixote. Since there were no desserts at the cocktail launch, we decided to have some at Cacao 70. It was a first for Sam so we did a sharing experience with triple chocolate pizza, banana split waffle, milk chocolate fondue and much more. (It wouldn’t be a decent post without mentioning food!) We left stuffed and walked to the nearest metro. We were walking down the escalators when it happened. My left foot touched the ground and I felt it twist inside my boot. I knew I had sprained my ankle, I could feel the swell. Two nice and good-looking security agents asked if I was alright and if I needed an ambulance. I gently refused because I didn’t need to spend hours at the hospital when I knew exactly what was wrong. I mean it’s the 4th time that I sprained my left ankle after all and no, I’m not even joking.

Thirdly, I was feeling sick and unmotivated. I was given anti-inflammatory medication to help reduce the swelling. I didn’t see the doctors I usually see and was surprised to be prescribed medication. Of course, I had side effects and had horrible stomach burns. I thought nothing was worse than menstrual pain but clearly I was wrong. I spent the week home with crutches mostly sleeping in my bed or on the couch. This pain led to a drop of motivation and I couldn’t even stay long in front of my computer.

Why am I explaining all this you ask? Many people in my surrounding told me that it was a sign that I needed to relax and slow down. I told them that it was pretty ironic that the day I slowed down, I sprain my ankle. I’ve never been a lucky person so I’m not surprised. So I started questionning myself and found that yes, I was doing too much. I’m always doing too much. Why? I think I’m a workaholic and I can’t bear the fact of not doing anything. Is it the fact that I’m pumped on adrenaline while trying to pull my hair out at the same time? I know that I always complain that I’m super busy but when I’m not, I’m bored. I’ll never be satisfied in life it seems, well until I find a perfect middle.

I had recently questioned myself about my career in journalism. Am I really cut out to be a journalist? Can I survive as an arts & culture journalist? Maybe I should be more involved and write more stories in different publications. The only problem is that I don’t have the time and even if I try to make it happen, I’m still dealing with personal things, which are draining all my energy. Sometimes, I just want to take all my things and throw them away in a hole or burn them. I just want to tell everyone to leave me alone. Yes, I know it’s mean but that’s how I feel lately. So it’s possible I don’t post much in the next few weeks but I’ll definitely catch up. I’m sorry if this post sounds emotional and dark, but I had to explain why the blog wasn’t updated.

N.

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